A little alarmed about something that happened a while back or about what it might imply in the future. I didn’t think I had the issue where someone on the spectrum can become cognitively lost or upset if a routine deviates from the expected outcome. Like the person who was taught to do laundry, but when the dryer broke and the clothes came out wet, they didn’t know what to do and just folded and put away wet clothes.
Today I discovered I don’t know what to do when the bus driver passes my stop. The bus passed my stop and I just stood there. I knew something was wrong. The doors hadn’t opened when they were supposed to. I couldn’t figure out what happens next. I was lost. Three bus stops later I had about figured out that I needed to alert the driver, and at the same time anxiety and uncertainty were trying to take away my voice.
I don’t know how many stops I would have passed before I resolved things. Someone wanted on the bus at the third stop, and when the doors opened I got off.
It was annoying, it could be embarrassing if I let it, but what really bothers me is I don’t know if I could react any differently if it happens again. And I wonder what other gaps are waiting to trip me up. And what if I find one of these gaps in a dangerous situation? For the bus, I plan to run through the scenario mentally and hope I can coach myself into a different response. Not much I can do about the ones I don’t know, I suppose.